"We Could Do With A Bit Of Rain" Says Queenslander Watching His Car Get Washed Away In Floods

South East Queensland hit with another goddamned flash flood.

"Yeah, we could do with a bit of rain" says a local man watching his Toyota Prius barrelling down the street in yet another flash flood for South East Queensland. "Good for crops and good for my garden" he said while sifting through refuse in his backyard. It’s just another extreme flood event for Eastern Australia that most are calling “devastating.”

While the general public are once again suffering, election analyst’s believe that the government‘s response to this weather event could be the deciding factor on the May 21st election. “There’s a good chance Prime Minister Morrison will be standing there with his pants down and resort back to the ole ‘not my job‘ quip… which will leave us in the totally capable hands of the Queensland government.”

Opposition chairman Clive Palmer has pledged to give his own aid through this weather event to those who need it, having already visited four golf courses in the affected area and providing 20 million to your local corporate businessman, which he claims is "to be added to the national debt when [the United Australia Party] gets elected."

Whilst this weather has been harsh, meteorologists say it's far from over, "yeah you know, we're getting dogshit weather from yet another Asian typhon or cyclone or some shit." claimed the Bureau of Meteorology, "it's like you make plans just for the weather to come and #$%&ing ruin it!"

Stay tuned for more compelling stories.