Emus warn of a second Emu War if the nation continues to undermine emu populations and deny them access to services around the country.
The emu population delivered a stern warning to the country earlier today warning of a second Emu War if the nation fails to recognise and respect emu populations. "We emus are a proud [bird] and demand recognition as citizen and further access to the nation." It comes after a heightened fear over emu confrontation, with emus starting to spill over territory borders and threaten coastal cities. "Our charge will not halt until we have confirmation that our demands have been met."
The Great Emu War (2 Nov 1932 – 10 Dec 1932) attempted to quell previous revolts that the emus had undertaken, over 20,000 emus were killed in what has been widely considered a massacre in emu culture. Ultimately, the goal of the operation was unknown, however many seem to believe it to have been a holocaust. "What we saw [all those years ago] was not an attempt to quell protest- no. What we saw was a systematic killing of an entire race [of birds]." Said Robert T. Johnston, an emu who specialises in the study of the Great Emu War.
Despite the operation being considered a failure, the emus had suffered a multitude of causalities and loss, and received no government subsidies to compensate. Since then, emus have mostly been confined to Western Australia, but are becoming increasingly dissatisfied with their privileges. "Us emus do not receive nearly enough recognition that the man does, we believe ourselves to be a key component of the nation as much as the koala."
When asked what stance the new Labour government took on the issue, the party simply responded; "We would like to give our thoughts on the issue, but we can't seem to find Prime Minister Albanese right now- we'll have to get back to you later." This has left the topic up for much debate, but military officials do warn of an armed retaliation to the bird invasion, potentially leading to a second Emu War. While the birds show no sign of stopping, they are open for debate, "we believe every geopolitical issue can be solved diplomatically, and hope our two-legged adversary see the issue in the same light."
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