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Australians Gather To Watch Drug-Fuelled Mutants Skirmish For Another Year

Australian televisions tune in to watch the sport for another year running.



Australian televisions lit up last to watch dozens of drug-fuelled mutants’ skirmish around a football field for another year, in a nail-biting game with a decisive victory for the roaches. The game kicked off with the players in blue shirts putting the ball at the end of the field, but then failing to boot it in between the big poles in the ground. After an agonizing 20 minutes, the roaches returned the favour putting the ball at the other end of the field and kicking it through the poles.


In the second half, the blue mutants defence fell, and the cockroaches were able to score numerous points on the opposing team. Both teams were caught playing dirty, but the absolutely incompetent SHIT of a referee was unable to make a single accurate call.


Key players who have unmemorable names were severely injured during the game, with one overdosing on DMT during the fourth run. Both teams fought hard until the very end, the final play being right on the scoring line. But in the worst call of the entire game, the twat ref decided not to play the fifth and final run. An absolute upset for the supporters of the blue mutants.


However more upsetting is the fact that the average Australian still watches this sport annually, and there are still two games yet to be played. Fart Network sport analysts predict at least three more overdoses next game.


Stay tuned for more compelling stories.

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