May 16, 2023ENTERTAINMENTNew Nintendo Title Features Mario Going Through Rough Patch Of Drug AbuseNintendo releases newest AAA title featuring Mario suffering through a rough patch of drug abuse.
May 15, 2023NEWSWHO Decides Nobody Really Gives A Shit About Global Pandemic AnymoreWith COVID-19 shifting out of mind of the general public, the World Health Organisation has decided it not enough of issue to "give a shit".
May 10, 2023NEWSFart Network Dissidents Killed For TreasonPublicly outspoken Fart Network dissidents were found dead last night in what many are calling a 'coup'.
Nov 1, 2022NEWS"Did Ya Miss Me?" Says Fart Network Editor In Chief Leaving CourthouseShock and outrage filled the halls after Fart News Editor in Chief was acquitted.
Jun 9, 2022OPINION Man That Writes Poetry In Spare Time Surprisingly BadClaims that despite excessive study and reciting of poetry, still really bad.
Jun 9, 2022OPINION REPORT: Majority Of Americans Still Believe In Piece Of Paper Written Over 200 Years Ago Americans are still putting their faith in document basically written in the middle ages.
Jun 3, 2022NEWSNews Warns News Causes ViolenceNews outlets are now warning of a link between the distribution of news media and the rise in gun-violence across America.
May 20, 2022SPORTPete Alonso Swings, Causes Eight-Car Pile Up, Hits Home RunPete Alonso hit an amazing ball for the New York Mets against the Chicago Cubs in yesterday's game, causing a severe motor vehicle accident.